"Have you thought about writing your family history, but found yourself stuck from the start? Writing a family narrative can be a daunting task, but Karen Jones Gowen found a way to bring her mother's story to life." (Homespun Magazine)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

D is for Done

Being done is an interesting thing. Sometimes I know I'm done, and it's up to me. Like when I worked at Costco. I could have stayed there as long as I wanted, I'd been there 5 years, but one day I knew it was time to move on. Sometimes it isn't up to the individual. When my father-in-law died, my mother-in-law was devastated. A 58- year-old widow, she was done with life. She couldn't understand what more she had to do, and she wanted out. It took 15 more years before God determined she was done, even though she had determined it well before hand.

Recently my husband's business of 20 years was done. It was determined by the economy. He had been a mortgage broker and the mortgage industry changed so drastically three years ago that his business was essentially done. It dried up. So that was a decision based on economic factors as well as his own judgment of where things stood. He knew he was done.

There are a few things I will never be done with by choice: my marriage, my kids, my life. It was the same with my mother. She didn't have the happiest marriage in the world, but she stayed with my dad through all the hard times, and in later years they worked out their problems and were very happy. She fought for life after having two strokes, wanting to eat, to talk, to go back to her apartment. She never gave up until the very end, and even then she didn't give up-- she just went when her time came. A nurse came in and brushed her hair. Mom opened her eyes, and was gone. As my husband says, "Her hair was combed, she was now ready." She was never done as a mom or a grandmother. She cared for everyone until the end. She had money set aside for everyone so each grandchild would get a little something from her.

Sometimes it takes courage to say, "Yes, I am now done." Sometimes it takes courage to keep fighting and not give up. I could write so much about being done. There is just so much to say about it. But, I am now done with this post.

14 comments:

  1. A wonderful post, Karen. We do need to recognize when we're DONE and need to move on. And then of course, we're never Done with family. That is eternal.

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  2. A wonderful post Karen. I got chills when I read the bit about your Mother going after here hair had been combed. When my mother decided she was "Done" she broke our hearts. For me I will never be "Done" with life until I have no choice.

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  3. That was beautiful. I love this blog. It always touches me somehow. I could print out these posts and put them on my refrigerator and read them every day. Thank you.

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  4. Beautiful, Karen. Just beautiful.
    Karen

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  5. That was just great. Such resilience we have, yet there is sometimes as much courage and wisdom in saying "DONE," as there is in keeping on. Oddly, I almost used done for my D word today - as in " I think I'm done with this A to Z blog thing." I'm tired and grieving and not that many people seem to be stopping by (you do - many thanks!). But instead, for some reason I posted Day, as in "it's a new day." Interesting. And, someone new came by and gave me a blog award - so there you go!

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  6. Such great advice here! Great post.

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  7. Comments such as this keep me going on this quiet little blog, even though I have thought many times I should be done. Thank you all for visiting and leaving your comments :)

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  8. Oh no, you must not be done with this blog cos it's lovely!!

    Take care
    x

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  9. This is a beautiful post, Karen!

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  10. It is true sometimes you are just DONE! Well written and very profound.

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  11. I love your site and as I browsed your blog I decided to award you the Inspiring Blog Award.
    Go to http://astorybookworld.blogspot.com/p/awards.html and pick up your award.
    ~Deirdra

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  12. Thank you Deirdra, much appreciated :)

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  13. Very nice post Karen...
    I'm glad you aren't "done" blogging!

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  14. I love this post and how very insightful it is - even though sometimes being 'done' is not what we want to admit to ourselves.

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I don't post very often, but if you leave a comment I'll know someone is out there reading. And then I will post more! Bwa ha ha!