"Have you thought about writing your family history, but found yourself stuck from the start? Writing a family narrative can be a daunting task, but Karen Jones Gowen found a way to bring her mother's story to life." (Homespun Magazine)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Grieving Process

I finished final edits on my novel House of Diamonds, feeling a bit empty and at loss now with what to do with my time. There is a character in the novel who experiences tragedy and goes through the grieving process. Strangely enough, I am also editing a manuscript, a memoir, about a woman who loses her husband.

Mom has been gone now for 2 weeks and her birthday is approaching. Facebook announced it to me, and I wrote a birthday message on her wall. Yes, definitely feeling a bit empty now, missing her.

My cute Marine son (he's the one in the middle) is leaving in 2 days for Camp Pendleton, to do his 8 week infantry training. Feeling that loss creeping up on me.

It just seems that everywhere I turn, I'm face to face with the idea of loss and the grieving process. Tomorrow is church and I'm wondering how to get out of it. I suppose some people grieve by wanting to be around people, but me? I just want to be left alone, stay in my pajamas and eat food that's bad for me. Sugar-- it's what's for dinner.


  1. I hope you find some alone time. Take care

  2. Dear Karen,
    I saw your comment on finishing your novel at Michelle Gregory's blog and just wanted to say "Congratulations!" I'm so impressed. I'm trying to convince myself that novels actually are things that do end one day, but it's hard to believe. I've been working on mine for so very long now.
    I'm sorry about your mother, and the way you must be feeling. I would say, "Stay home in your pajamas and eat donuts. God knows what you need." But don't sin against your conscience, either. Maybe, go to church and spend the rest of the day in your PJ's?
    Nice to meet you. I love your blog. I've often wondered how I would feel if my only son wanted to join the military, but since he's got as much athletic ability as his mum and considers himself "an indoor person" I think there's little risk of that happening. Thank you for your family's service!

  3. My experience of bereavement is about getting used to the feeling. My father died over four years ago yet I still miss him. At the same time, he is always around in the sense that I am constantly reminded of him. A loss remains a loss, but a less painful perspective is achieved after an interval and that time frame is different for every one of us.

    Congratulations on finishing your final edits.

    If at all possible, stay off the food that's bad for you; it won't help your mood. But I know that you know that.....

  4. Christine, You are a wise friend, thank you for your comment. And I'll try not to eat the sugar! Monday is the first day of the rest of my life.

    Christine H, thanks for finding me! I went to your blog and left a comment. I love your blog and your outlook, look forward to getting to know you better!

    Old Kitty, You are awesome. Thanks for your always kind and encouraging comments.

  5. Dear Karen,
    I felt that you had such a beautiful relationship with your Mother. You always paid her the highest honor and by that generosity of yours she was happy. Mother's are like that, as I'm sure you know with your own son.
    Congratulations on finishing your book. What an accomplishment. Lately I can hardly get through a post.
    What a good looking son you have. It doesn't seem possible he's old enough to be in the service, I bet. It all goes by too quickly.
    I hope you're finding that pajama Sunday.
    With loving thoughts,

  6. Congrats on finishing your book! I am sorry for your loss, respect your intuition and stay home in PJ's and eat junk food! We have to remember to listen to our souls, sometimes. I, like you, need to be alone, to come to terms with my emotions or allow them a way to vent. Sorry to hear about your Mom, I suggest you keep writing her, FB or otherwise~xXx
    Your son is cute, I am still writing my nephew in bootcamp! They may end up meeting at some point in time~

  7. It's tough, I know. Especially when the grief is fresh and raw. Try to baby yourself a little -- sometimes you just have to. *Hugs*

  8. When all else fails, try chocolate.

  9. Sorry,but grief is grief, new deep and open, but still there five and six years. healed, maybe, but, still aches at times depending on the hole that is left. But i guess it enriches us as a member of life.
    I believe it helps by writing, so if you feel it do it. The farm girl is so pretty. Love her eyes and her little grin.Your lucky to have those pictures.

  10. Hi Karen. You visited me yesterday. I saw this post and know you miss your Mom. My Dad passed on the 28th of May and that first fathers day without him as rough. And, I'm satying a long goodbye to my wonderful wife. She has an incurable, untreatable disease that will leave her aware but unable to communicate or move. My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself and take time to grieve.


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